Snacks in lockdown – a guide

My work team have introduced lots of interesting activities each week to take the place of those informal contacts we used to have with each other. Some are competitive like the best character made out of a toilet roll, but some are just good fun. They contributed to the Hot Cross Buns review and now we are contributing to “snacks”. These mostly come in plastic packaging and increase our girth. They are the things we eat while on zoom with the microphone and video turned off to help us with those really boring interludes when we are staring at an excel sheet and there is no colleague around who offers to make a cup of tea. We rated them on “Texture (1 = rubbish, 10 = perfect), Flavour (1 = horrible, 10 = perfect) and Quantity (1 = nowhere near enough, 10 = perfect) – always try to be scientific about these things but we didn’t make everyone eat everything…… but here goes.

Sweet

Nakd Cocoa Orange was clearly a hot favourite with a 10 on flavour but some disagreement aobut whether it was enough and whether they had the texture quite right and we wanted more of it! The Oreos were defiitely enough – you always get more than one but were a bit down on flavour and texture. I suppose we should have drilled down a bit more to discover how they were eaten – halved and licked, with music (a la Heston) or the custard cream method which just means biting them whole. Cadbury Darkmilk Giant Buttons got high scores on tecture and flavour but although they were very creamy and indulgent, there were quite a lot for a quick snack. Nakd Bakewell great on flavour but down a bit on quantity and texture (we really need a control comparison with a Mr Kipling). Last in this group is the old fashioned Curly Wurly. These used to be a long lasting sweet but were judged as much too small these days although the flavour was perfect and the texture just a little down on a top score.

Savoury

First in the savouries and gettig top marks for flavour and texture was the Nature Valley Sweet n Salty Peanut bar. This though was judged the worst for the quantity but maybe a good thing based on the number of calories. Pickled Onion Monster Munch – a children’s favourite – was certainly enough in terms of quantity even if it fell down on the texture and flavour. Several treats were gluten free but these ones were picked out of the mix – RW Garcia Lentil with Turmeric crackers. They scored very highly on all three ratings but are pricey. Kettle’s Salt and Pepper Crisps were high on flavour and texture but lower on quantity – those bags have plenty of air in them.

Finally a new kid on the block is the M&S Marmite butter featured in the top photo. This is a brilliant innovation in the field of snacks. It is efficient requiring just a single knife for both Marmite and butter so reduces washing up. It also prevents the yellow flecks in the Marmite, for those of us trying to save the planet one washed knife at a time. Banished is the problem of the Marmite pooling on the toast as it slides over the butter. Thank you M&S – Marmite butter and toast is the EatinBrixton favourite. My team were less enthusiastic but I am hoping to convert them but that means that M&S need to keep supplying it.

In the meantime I drew plucky North Macedonia in the Euro 2020 which means I will be back snacking after the game with the Netherlands.

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